draft

how do you go through life not disappointing a few people at the very least? ain’t we always disappointing someone knowingly and unknowingly? from the moment we are born we start disappointing people. maybe they wanted you to be a boy or maybe a girl or maybe a little more chubby or fair or normal. then we start school after a few years and they want you to be smarter or work harder or talk more or love sport and there’s an endless list. do these expectations ever end? is it even remotely possible to meet up with all those expectations?

people get angry, sad, annoyed when you don’t do what they want you to do but if you do what they say, don’t you get angry, sad and annoyed at yourself? i agree that sometimes other’s opinions matter and prove to be true and much more valuable than you initially gave them credit for, but some things you know deep down aren’t that simple and listening to others won’t do. sometimes you need to listen to yourself too. even if just for a second.

sometimes you ask for opinions from others but all you want is for them to listen to you and agree. agree and assure you that everything may seem impossible and tough and life may seem like an endless crater from where you can never climb up, but at last you will. it may take months if not years and decades but someday you will rise up from the crater in all glory to be able to see the whole world, blue and green shining with the sunshine. the world might not revolve around you, but you revolve around the world, with your grey-ish blemishes and light borrowed from a really glowing star for a while before you disappear into the universe and turn to stardust. people will call you beautiful one day even if it takes them thousands of years to discover you.

why does it matter what others think and why will i still care even if a little bit about what others will think about me after writing all this motivational rant.

i just read something that said something like “some years will be questions and some will be answers”.maybe this is my year of questions? but i do hope my answer year comes sooner than expected.

it’s strange how we forget to live while trying to please others and when we finally try to live, how disappointed they are even though the life in question is yours. you can talk about what you would’ve done if you were in other’s shoes and all that shit but are you in their shoe? no one fits in another’s tailor-made shoe perfectly. they are theirs to fit in. they can advice them to change their fit but really after all it’s yours to walk through the mud or through polished floors. so why let others choose your shoe for you?

it’s easier to blame others when you listen to their advice and something goes wrong, but what happens when you listen to yourself? who’s to blame but yourself? it maybe scary, but what if it goes right? won’t it be also your credit for trusting yourself and your intuition and succeeding.

it’s so much easier to listen about it and read about it, about other’s success stories, but it’s unimaginably harder to try to write your own. but after you do, who’s going to remember about the endless drafts and edits you had to make? if it all works out, they are only going to remember that it worked out and nothing about how it worked out.

it’s beautiful and sad how so many people are willing to please others instead of themselves and tell me if you had the slightest chance to do the latter, wouldn’t you take that chance?

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